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First hug her from the back and whisper between her ears - just whisper anything you want then there is no specific rules in what you are supposed to say; some dirty and seductive things are enough.

Lastly, there are so several kinds of adult toys, including those created for both of yourself. If it bothers you she has one for herself, then select one that you can enjoy connected. It's going to help both your own family the woman in living to possess a better experience, why and not?